This. All this right here. Read this.

A friend told me that the most important step in this whole process is to explain a little bit about myself and why I'm writing this blog. My first thought is, who fucking cares? Seriously, who cares? You're sitting there, wondering when I'm going to get to something profound or funny, and instead you're reading this bullshit.

So I must warn you, in case you haven't figured it out already, I curse like a drunken sailor courting someone with Tourettes. (No offense to all you people out there with Tourettes Syndrome. I was told to say that too, in case someone got pissy.) Some of you might find me funny, most of you will find me offensive. Not a single gram of fuck shall be given though, so shut your flapper, be an adult and move on if you don't like it. Just because I swear, doesn't make me less intelligent than you.

To all you grammar Nazi's out there - You're gonna have a FIELD DAY with me. I excessively use the comma like it's going out of style, I LOVE run on sentences and unless I'm feeling up to using Google to properly spell a word, you're gonna read some whack shit. I also like to make words up.

You're probably wondering right about now if I'll ever get to the point. Maybe? I'm not sure. I guess I should talk about what I'll be doing with this blog. I'm a lazy poster, so don't expect me to be consistent. I'll try, but I can't promise anything.

I think the initial plan on this is to use it as a sort of journal. My version of therapy after a shitty day is, like most people's, to use someone else as the sound off board just to vent. My boyfriend gets tired of hearing my shit (surprise, surprise) so what better way then to try to connect with other's that can relate via the Internet?

So you'll hear a lot of complaining, (I am a woman, after all - you sexist bastards.) some advice, and a shit ton of ranting. All in all, if you can find the humor in what I'm trying to convey, I think it'll be a good blog for anyone. I try not to take life to seriously, and I think that a lot of people out there should do the same. My sarcasm and penchant for story telling (more like out of this world exaggerations) tend to make me seem a little.. funny? Or maybe it's annoying. Who cares?

Anywhore. Congrats on finding this blog. I hope you do stick it out though. I'll try really hard not to bring up anything about Religion or Politics as I am neither a religious person or a political one. I might step over the boundary on that on occasion. I'm a staunch supporter of human rights (Not gay rights, not heterosexual rights, but HUMAN rights. We're all human here, unless you're an octopus or a bear or something.) Let's see, is there anything or anyone else I can offend? Probably. All in due time, folks.

Let me leave you with a parting picture of something awesome.