Fuck pants.

OK so I've got 22 minutes to make a point here.

Ready...

Set...

Go!

Who the fuck goes shopping on Thanksgiving? I mean really? You're up at the ass crack of dawn making Turkey and spam loaf or whatever it is that you prefer, you decorate, set the table, bash the kids around, argue with relatives, pick your ass and then fall into a coma from to much turkey and egg nog. WHY ARE YOU OUT SHOPPING!?

Because you're lame. That's why. Spending the day with your family should be priority, but instead you're forcing others to be at work because you can't plan your shit right. Every year I get the same type of people. The ones that were surprised Thanksgiving snuck up on them. As if the damn thing didn't fall around the same time every year. When November hits, get your shit together people.

To the idiots that need to buy that one last roll of tin foil or a foil pan, fuck you. Seriously. Because you're usually the dumb ass that tells me "Oh you poor thing you. I can't believe you have to work on Thanksgiving. That's horrible. I wouldn't do it." Then get the hell out of my store. Jackass. I will leap over this counter with only a beautiful grace a fat person can manage and stab you in the eye.

And on another note, shame on you Kohl's and other various places that are opening up at 8pm to start the Black Friday shopping early. You bitches. Now my store has to compete and we're stuck there till 11 pm. Is shopping so important that you can't wait? I mean, isn't the point of Black Friday to get up at the ass crack of dawn, hung over from tryptophan, hair sticking out in 18 different directions with a scowl that would scare Medusa and bash the fuck out of each other in line for that one lame ass Elmo doll? Instead, we're setting new trends.

If one person says to me, "You should be thankful that you have a job," over this, I will personally make it a priority to shame the hell out of you. Then again, you're also right, but I don't want to hear that shit right now either.

Shout out to the ones that have no choice though. Military, Police, Health care workers. Your shit never stops.

Also, on a side note: Fuck pants.

That's it kiddies. Mama has to work. I did this in record time. Go me.

P.S. Seriously, fuck pants.